Here's to 2012

 

Happy New Year everyone!  Wow...what a year 2011 was, and a year that I will never forget. 

2011 was a particularly challenging one for my family since my cancer diagnosis back in August.  Before we started getting some answers, I think all of us were paralyzed with fear.  Most of the fear was simply of the unknown. How could this be happening to me?  Was this something I was going to be able to fight or was this a death sentence? So many thoughts swirled through my mind, and I didn't know which way was up anymore.  The only thing I knew was that I wanted to live now more than ever, and planned to fight the good fight to the end.  Even though these chemo's are really starting to take a toll on my body and are getting harder to stomach, I'm still fighting.  Sure, my hair is shorter than most toddlers, and my eyebrows are almost non-existent, but that's all vanity.  Whatever it takes to rid my body of this nasty disease!  The hair will grow back.

There have been plenty of tears since August, but not all of those tears have been out of sadness.  Many happy tears were shed from the overwhelming amount of love, support, and generosity Josh and I received from our friends, family, co-workers and church.  You were there with open arms to embrace us or with arms full of yummy meals and treats to feed us, and get us through some pretty rough days.  Nobody ever said this journey would be easy, but it has been a much easier road to travel because of you.  You've inspired me to be a better person, and I look forward to being able to pay it forward someday because I know firsthand how amazing the feeling is to be on the receiving end.

This journey has not been all negative, and in a strange way has been...shall I say...good for me?  Before all of this I never had a real relationship with the Lord as church wasn't a real part of my life until just a couple years ago when Josh and I joined Mt. Olivet.  When we have children I want them to have a relationship with God and to know who He is at an early age.  This is important to both Josh and I, but I struggled at the same time with how I was going to encourage my children to have a relationship with God when I didn't have one of my own.  Being diagnosed with cancer wasn't exactly my desired path to building that relationship, but I think that I needed something life changing to assist with that and help me find some spirituality in my life. 

Through my cancer journey, I'm also building some good friendships with other women who are either currently going through cancer, are in remission, or have been cured of cancer.  There's something very comforting to me about connecting with others who truly know what I'm going through.  Even though a couple of them are fighting a different type of cancer, it's still cancer, and it's still no fun!  Friends and family can be there to a certain degree, but until you're the one sitting in the chair receiving chemo treatments intravenously, and experiencing the side effects of those treatments, you'll never really get it.  I'm thankful for these relationships (some new, some not so new) I'm building with these lovely ladies.

Here's to 2012!  May we live each day to the best of our ability, and learn to not sweat the small stuff so much.  We're only promised today so it's important that we try to make the most of the present, while planning for the future.  What do you wish for this year?  My wish list includes a clean bill of health and (cross my fingers) a pregnancy announcement from yours truly later on this year! ;)

Cheers!