Thursday, November 17, 2011

I've been receiving a lot of questions lately as to why I haven't submitted any new blog entries, along with questions about what the next steps are for treatment.  I know I haven't been very good about keeping everyone in the loop, and trust me, it has been on the almighty "to do" list.  My excuse is that I've been really trying to put my new work out equipment to good use at night after work, and unfortunately this means the blog has temporarily taken a back seat as I try to focus on toning up my back seat!

I knew that I had some loyal blog followers from day one, but I guess I didn't realize to what extent until I quit writing.  Tonight my mom compared my new blog entries to a favorite TV show one may have.  You look forward to a new "episode" being on, and when it's a re-run, you're kind of bummed.  I don't find myself to be particularly interesting, but I am flattered if you've enjoyed following along!  As long as people continue reading, I'll continue writing and staying current on the latest and greatest.  It means a lot to me that you care so much!  Speaking of caring so much, a special shout out needs to go to Kellie and Laurie.  These ladies have sent me a "thinking of you" card EVERY SINGLE WEEK.  Yes, every week!  And they're always full of words of encouragement and the positivity that I thrive on.  You'll never know how much that truly means to me so THANK YOU.


It's time to get down to the nitty gritty!
Remember me telling you about my AMAZING PET scan results?  I'm sure by now most of you have already seen this, but below is a side-by-side of my original scan and my first follow-up scan.  After just 4 rounds of chemo, no active cancer cells can be detected.  As I stated in the last entry, even though you can't see any active cells here, it doesn't mean we stop treatment.  It just may be altered a bit.  With ABVD, each treatment builds on the previous one so there is a constant attack on this mass with no break.  I will kill this cancer if it's the last thing I do!  I have too much living left to do. 


 I have to admit that although the results are pretty remarkable, it has been difficult for me to digest this information.  I haven't really given myself a chance to celebrate and just enjoy this moment, and if anything, this news had an opposite effect on me, as though I received bad news instead.  Why was I feeling like a black cloud was hovering over my head?  I wanted to celebrate, and everyone else around me was celebrating.  I didn't want to allow myself to have that moment only to realize later there was some sort of mistake with the results.  I know that PET scans don't lie and the proof is in the pictures.  It's just me protecting myself.  Since receiving a copy of my PET scan pictures (all 3,000 of them),  I've had a chance to look through them one by one from the comfort of my own home and for the first time, really digest the good news.  The black cloud has passed. 


Look who still has her hair!!
   
I had my 6th round of chemo last Friday (11/11) and it went just fine as usual.  Dr. Londer had the week off so I saw a different Oncologist before heading over to the treatment center.  I was telling her about some of the symptoms I've been having, which was also contributing to my "black cloud" - the arm soreness and finger tip tingling/numbness was coming back, I was having some shortness of breath, and a burning sensation in my throat when I'd take a deep breath.  I thought maybe the cancer was coming back with a vengeance and these were symptoms letting me know that's the case.  She put my worried mind to rest when she advised that the arm issues and finger numbness/tingling is neuropathy from the chemo drugs, and the shortness of breath and burning could actually be acid reflux related.  I haven't experienced much acid reflux before so it never occurred to me that this could be the case, but it makes total sense.  I've been advised to take a daily acid blocker and tums.  It seems to be helping!

I'm finding that I'm my own worst enemy, and think I may struggle a bit when this is all said and done, wondering if every little ache and pain I have is cancer-related.  From what I understand, this is pretty common after going through cancer, but in talking with others who have gone through it, I'm told that this too shall pass with time.

A couple pictures from chemo round #6




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