There is no getting around it - Chemo round #7 has kicked my butt. My hair is falling out at an accelerated rate and the acid reflux I've been battling just won't let up regardless of how many Tums or Zantac I digest in any given 24 hour period of time. Although the stomach issues are a nuisance, I can deal with them. The hair situation, I cannot. I told myself in the beginning of this process that I was not going to let this hair loss control me, and the minute I felt like it was, the hair needed to go. It was a sad realization on Tuesday morning that 'it's time' as I sat in front of the mirror strategically positioning hairs with bobby pins over my problem spots. I'm proud of myself that I've been able to hold onto my hair as long as I have, and for a while there I even wondered if I was going to somehow luck out and keep my hair. I could probably ride this out a little longer, but at some point a person just needs to know when to say that enough is enough!
I was now on a mission. The first thing I did when I got into work on Tuesday morning was call up DK International and asked to schedule an appointment with Michelle to have my head shaved. I think it goes without saying, but never in a million years did I ever think I'd be making an appointment like that. My hair would be gone right now if she would have had availability on Tuesday, but I'm glad now that she didn't. My appointment is Friday afternoon, and thankfully Josh and my mom will both be there for support. I think Friday is a better day for something like this anyways. I know it's going to be emotionally draining so having the weekend to get used to my new "do" will be a good thing I think. I've had a couple wigs just waiting for some time now so I might as well put them to good use. By the time I'm finally getting used to wearing them will probably be the time when my treatment plan (whatever that may be) is wrapping up. I can't wait for that day! Remission here I come.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Chemo Round 7 - Check!
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving on Thursday. I sure did! Josh and I spent the day with his side of the family, and it was a very relaxing, low-key kind of day, which I enjoyed. We got a chance to catch up with everyone, played with our niece and nephew (Emma and Ryan) - getting in plenty of snuggle time, and watched our Green Bay Packers kick some butt! Not to mention the weather was BEAUTIFUL so traveling was a breeze. It was just an all around good day!
There was no black Friday shopping for this gal! Not that I would have gone out anyways. I did that once, and told myself NEVER AGAIN! I will pay the extra money just so I don't have to deal with the chaos, or buy online. That's really the way to go these days. My Friday morning consisted of heading to Hubert Humphrey Cancer Center for chemo treatment #7. I'm officially more than halfway there (assuming I finish out all 12 treatments). Dr. Londer was there, so we met with him first and got a chance to ask about what he sees for me in regards to the rest of my treatment plan. What we know for sure at this time is that I will get 8 treatments under my belt, and then go in for another PET scan to see where we are. At that point, we'll regroup and decide what the next plan of attack is. I suppose that's fair enough. Taking things one step at a time is the best way to go vs planning too far out only to have it derailed.
When I got home, I just wasn't feeling so hot. My stomach was rotten, and my nose was all plugged up and runny, so I layed down for a nap hoping I'd feel better when I woke up - Nope! Still had an upset stomach, so I took a Zantac, one of my anti-nausea medications, 4 tums, AND a Sudafed tab for this stuffed up nose. My nose seems to have cleared, but my stomach is still uneasy. I knew I should have "knocked on wood" after commenting yesterday how I've been feeling pretty good these days! I think I jinxed myself...=)
I had taken Monday off (11/21) as a day for myself to just get some extra R&R, but of course that changed. When I went in for my 6th treatment, the chemo nurse I had that day asked if I had a Pulmonary Function test done before starting chemo which I had not. I'm pretty sure I had every other possible test run on me, but a Pulmonary Function test was not one of them. This test is meant to check your lung function before you start chemo as sometimes one of the drugs (Bleomycin) can cause some serious lung problems, so they like getting a base line in case I run into issues down the line. I already had my yearly physical scheduled that morning so I decided what the heck? I might as well just make a day of it and get this done as well since I'm off work anyways. The test itself lasted maybe 15-20 minutes - pretty quick and painless. The hardest part for me was figuring out where I needed to be. I parked in the same ramp as always when I head over the hospital, but this particular test ended up being on the other end of the hospital (of course :) ). Somehow I made it over there just fine despite my terrible directional sense, and on time! This never happens if you know me. I tend to be fashionably late wherever I go. I can only imagine how I will be when kids are in the picture!
I hadn't heard anything back about my results by the time Friday came around so I asked Dr. Londer if he had received anything back yet, which he hadn't. I guess this department isn't particularly good about sending over results once received. I'm not too worried about it though since the lady administering the test kept telling me things were looking good. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I'm starting to see a trend here with all this waiting, and for an anal control freak like myself, that can be difficult sometimes. I consider all this waiting to be a test of patience. You know what they say... Patience is a virtue!
There was no black Friday shopping for this gal! Not that I would have gone out anyways. I did that once, and told myself NEVER AGAIN! I will pay the extra money just so I don't have to deal with the chaos, or buy online. That's really the way to go these days. My Friday morning consisted of heading to Hubert Humphrey Cancer Center for chemo treatment #7. I'm officially more than halfway there (assuming I finish out all 12 treatments). Dr. Londer was there, so we met with him first and got a chance to ask about what he sees for me in regards to the rest of my treatment plan. What we know for sure at this time is that I will get 8 treatments under my belt, and then go in for another PET scan to see where we are. At that point, we'll regroup and decide what the next plan of attack is. I suppose that's fair enough. Taking things one step at a time is the best way to go vs planning too far out only to have it derailed.
When I got home, I just wasn't feeling so hot. My stomach was rotten, and my nose was all plugged up and runny, so I layed down for a nap hoping I'd feel better when I woke up - Nope! Still had an upset stomach, so I took a Zantac, one of my anti-nausea medications, 4 tums, AND a Sudafed tab for this stuffed up nose. My nose seems to have cleared, but my stomach is still uneasy. I knew I should have "knocked on wood" after commenting yesterday how I've been feeling pretty good these days! I think I jinxed myself...=)
I had taken Monday off (11/21) as a day for myself to just get some extra R&R, but of course that changed. When I went in for my 6th treatment, the chemo nurse I had that day asked if I had a Pulmonary Function test done before starting chemo which I had not. I'm pretty sure I had every other possible test run on me, but a Pulmonary Function test was not one of them. This test is meant to check your lung function before you start chemo as sometimes one of the drugs (Bleomycin) can cause some serious lung problems, so they like getting a base line in case I run into issues down the line. I already had my yearly physical scheduled that morning so I decided what the heck? I might as well just make a day of it and get this done as well since I'm off work anyways. The test itself lasted maybe 15-20 minutes - pretty quick and painless. The hardest part for me was figuring out where I needed to be. I parked in the same ramp as always when I head over the hospital, but this particular test ended up being on the other end of the hospital (of course :) ). Somehow I made it over there just fine despite my terrible directional sense, and on time! This never happens if you know me. I tend to be fashionably late wherever I go. I can only imagine how I will be when kids are in the picture!
I hadn't heard anything back about my results by the time Friday came around so I asked Dr. Londer if he had received anything back yet, which he hadn't. I guess this department isn't particularly good about sending over results once received. I'm not too worried about it though since the lady administering the test kept telling me things were looking good. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I'm starting to see a trend here with all this waiting, and for an anal control freak like myself, that can be difficult sometimes. I consider all this waiting to be a test of patience. You know what they say... Patience is a virtue!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
So much to be thankful for...
As Thanksgiving day approaches, it's time to reflect on what we're thankful for in our lives. There is so much that I'm thankful for, especially this year which has been a particularly challenging one. For starters, I'm thankful for the wonderful support system I have in my family and friends. You all really stepped up to the plate this year to hold me up when my world was crumbling around me. You continue to provide Josh and I with so much love, and without you, this cancer battle would be a lonely journey. You make sure that we're always in your thoughts and prayers, and your positive words of hope give us so much strength. For you, I'm thankful!
I'm thankful for my health. You may be thinking, "your health??" but it's true. In general, I'm a pretty healthy person outside of this whole cancer nonsense. I've always tried to take reasonably good care of my body, but now especially, it's important that I do what I can to stay healthy. I've been working out to keep my heart strong and my weight down, and trying to eat healthy foods (for the most part =) ). I want to live a long healthy life. Isn't that the goal for all of us? If not, it should be. We're only given one life. Make it count!
Times are hard right now, and people are out of jobs. I've been thankful and continue to be thankful that both Josh and I are employed and work for incredibly understanding bosses. I'm able to leave for appointments without the 20 questions, and Josh has been able to be with me for all of my chemo Friday's. Continuing to bring in regular paychecks is important and health insurance is a HUGE deal. In the beginning of this all, I had only been with my new job a month, and was very fearful of not being able to meet the work demands and losing my job. What would I have done? Without work we'd be in so much trouble with all the medical bills I've racked up since August. When the going gets tough, always know that it can always be worse. I'm able to continue getting chemo treatments bi-weekly, and when I need to see a doctor, I'm able to do so without the heartburn of wondering, "how am I ever going to pay this bill?"
I have been so incredibly blessed in my life and will always be thankful. It does me no good to dwell on things in my life that aren't working out in my favor or the things I've missed out on. It's all about moving forward and remembering to thank your lucky stars for all the good in your life.
I'm thankful for my health. You may be thinking, "your health??" but it's true. In general, I'm a pretty healthy person outside of this whole cancer nonsense. I've always tried to take reasonably good care of my body, but now especially, it's important that I do what I can to stay healthy. I've been working out to keep my heart strong and my weight down, and trying to eat healthy foods (for the most part =) ). I want to live a long healthy life. Isn't that the goal for all of us? If not, it should be. We're only given one life. Make it count!
Times are hard right now, and people are out of jobs. I've been thankful and continue to be thankful that both Josh and I are employed and work for incredibly understanding bosses. I'm able to leave for appointments without the 20 questions, and Josh has been able to be with me for all of my chemo Friday's. Continuing to bring in regular paychecks is important and health insurance is a HUGE deal. In the beginning of this all, I had only been with my new job a month, and was very fearful of not being able to meet the work demands and losing my job. What would I have done? Without work we'd be in so much trouble with all the medical bills I've racked up since August. When the going gets tough, always know that it can always be worse. I'm able to continue getting chemo treatments bi-weekly, and when I need to see a doctor, I'm able to do so without the heartburn of wondering, "how am I ever going to pay this bill?"
I have been so incredibly blessed in my life and will always be thankful. It does me no good to dwell on things in my life that aren't working out in my favor or the things I've missed out on. It's all about moving forward and remembering to thank your lucky stars for all the good in your life.
Happy Thanksgiving from The Madson's
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Be Kind to One Another
The Ellen DeGeneres Show is one of my favorites. She's just so down to earth and I laugh the entire hour. It's really one of those shows that's just good for the soul. At the end of every show, Ellen ends with, "be kind to one another". I think it's a nice reminder to all of us. Sometimes it's easy to "lose our cool" with the people around us, and for what reason? Maybe our patience is running thin with the car in front of us who's driving under the speed limit, or we're annoyed because the cashier at the grocery store isn't ringing us up fast enough (in our mind). Whatever the situation, I think we need to just take a chill pill! Why are we always rushing through life? And while we're at it, why aren't we treating those around us with the utmost respect we feel we deserve (and vice versa)? The person you're tailgating could be someone's grandma. Would you want someone tailgating your grandma? Probably not. The cashier you're rolling your eyes at or sighing in frustration is someone's son or daughter. Again, would you want someone doing this to your child? Probably not. So why do we do it? Sometimes putting things into perspective can help alter our attitude, especially when dealing with the people around us.
What I realize more and more each day is that we're all fighting some sort of battle. I've been hearing a lot of stories of heartache lately - The unexpected loss of a family pet, a miscarriage halfway through pregnancy, a diagnosis of mental illness - the list goes on and on. Even though I'm going through my own battle right now, I can't help but pray for those around me who are heartbroken. May God give you the strength to get you through these hard times and lets you find the peace you need so you may move forward in your life.
When you're feeling like you're the only one going through a hard time and feel an urge to lash out towards the person you're riding too close behind, or the cashier who just isn't working fast enough for you, please just STOP and think about that battle they may be fighting. Life is funny sometimes. We all get a turn to experience not only the highs in life, but unfortunately the lows as well that tend to trip us up from time to time. Isn't it time we cut each other some slack?
Be Kind to One Another.
What I realize more and more each day is that we're all fighting some sort of battle. I've been hearing a lot of stories of heartache lately - The unexpected loss of a family pet, a miscarriage halfway through pregnancy, a diagnosis of mental illness - the list goes on and on. Even though I'm going through my own battle right now, I can't help but pray for those around me who are heartbroken. May God give you the strength to get you through these hard times and lets you find the peace you need so you may move forward in your life.
When you're feeling like you're the only one going through a hard time and feel an urge to lash out towards the person you're riding too close behind, or the cashier who just isn't working fast enough for you, please just STOP and think about that battle they may be fighting. Life is funny sometimes. We all get a turn to experience not only the highs in life, but unfortunately the lows as well that tend to trip us up from time to time. Isn't it time we cut each other some slack?
Be Kind to One Another.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I've been receiving a lot of questions lately as to why I haven't submitted any new blog entries, along with questions about what the next steps are for treatment. I know I haven't been very good about keeping everyone in the loop, and trust me, it has been on the almighty "to do" list. My excuse is that I've been really trying to put my new work out equipment to good use at night after work, and unfortunately this means the blog has temporarily taken a back seat as I try to focus on toning up my back seat!
I knew that I had some loyal blog followers from day one, but I guess I didn't realize to what extent until I quit writing. Tonight my mom compared my new blog entries to a favorite TV show one may have. You look forward to a new "episode" being on, and when it's a re-run, you're kind of bummed. I don't find myself to be particularly interesting, but I am flattered if you've enjoyed following along! As long as people continue reading, I'll continue writing and staying current on the latest and greatest. It means a lot to me that you care so much! Speaking of caring so much, a special shout out needs to go to Kellie and Laurie. These ladies have sent me a "thinking of you" card EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Yes, every week! And they're always full of words of encouragement and the positivity that I thrive on. You'll never know how much that truly means to me so THANK YOU.
It's time to get down to the nitty gritty!
Remember me telling you about my AMAZING PET scan results? I'm sure by now most of you have already seen this, but below is a side-by-side of my original scan and my first follow-up scan. After just 4 rounds of chemo, no active cancer cells can be detected. As I stated in the last entry, even though you can't see any active cells here, it doesn't mean we stop treatment. It just may be altered a bit. With ABVD, each treatment builds on the previous one so there is a constant attack on this mass with no break. I will kill this cancer if it's the last thing I do! I have too much living left to do.
I have to admit that although the results are pretty remarkable, it has been difficult for me to digest this information. I haven't really given myself a chance to celebrate and just enjoy this moment, and if anything, this news had an opposite effect on me, as though I received bad news instead. Why was I feeling like a black cloud was hovering over my head? I wanted to celebrate, and everyone else around me was celebrating. I didn't want to allow myself to have that moment only to realize later there was some sort of mistake with the results. I know that PET scans don't lie and the proof is in the pictures. It's just me protecting myself. Since receiving a copy of my PET scan pictures (all 3,000 of them), I've had a chance to look through them one by one from the comfort of my own home and for the first time, really digest the good news. The black cloud has passed.
I had my 6th round of chemo last Friday (11/11) and it went just fine as usual. Dr. Londer had the week off so I saw a different Oncologist before heading over to the treatment center. I was telling her about some of the symptoms I've been having, which was also contributing to my "black cloud" - the arm soreness and finger tip tingling/numbness was coming back, I was having some shortness of breath, and a burning sensation in my throat when I'd take a deep breath. I thought maybe the cancer was coming back with a vengeance and these were symptoms letting me know that's the case. She put my worried mind to rest when she advised that the arm issues and finger numbness/tingling is neuropathy from the chemo drugs, and the shortness of breath and burning could actually be acid reflux related. I haven't experienced much acid reflux before so it never occurred to me that this could be the case, but it makes total sense. I've been advised to take a daily acid blocker and tums. It seems to be helping!
I'm finding that I'm my own worst enemy, and think I may struggle a bit when this is all said and done, wondering if every little ache and pain I have is cancer-related. From what I understand, this is pretty common after going through cancer, but in talking with others who have gone through it, I'm told that this too shall pass with time.
I knew that I had some loyal blog followers from day one, but I guess I didn't realize to what extent until I quit writing. Tonight my mom compared my new blog entries to a favorite TV show one may have. You look forward to a new "episode" being on, and when it's a re-run, you're kind of bummed. I don't find myself to be particularly interesting, but I am flattered if you've enjoyed following along! As long as people continue reading, I'll continue writing and staying current on the latest and greatest. It means a lot to me that you care so much! Speaking of caring so much, a special shout out needs to go to Kellie and Laurie. These ladies have sent me a "thinking of you" card EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Yes, every week! And they're always full of words of encouragement and the positivity that I thrive on. You'll never know how much that truly means to me so THANK YOU.
It's time to get down to the nitty gritty!
Remember me telling you about my AMAZING PET scan results? I'm sure by now most of you have already seen this, but below is a side-by-side of my original scan and my first follow-up scan. After just 4 rounds of chemo, no active cancer cells can be detected. As I stated in the last entry, even though you can't see any active cells here, it doesn't mean we stop treatment. It just may be altered a bit. With ABVD, each treatment builds on the previous one so there is a constant attack on this mass with no break. I will kill this cancer if it's the last thing I do! I have too much living left to do.
I have to admit that although the results are pretty remarkable, it has been difficult for me to digest this information. I haven't really given myself a chance to celebrate and just enjoy this moment, and if anything, this news had an opposite effect on me, as though I received bad news instead. Why was I feeling like a black cloud was hovering over my head? I wanted to celebrate, and everyone else around me was celebrating. I didn't want to allow myself to have that moment only to realize later there was some sort of mistake with the results. I know that PET scans don't lie and the proof is in the pictures. It's just me protecting myself. Since receiving a copy of my PET scan pictures (all 3,000 of them), I've had a chance to look through them one by one from the comfort of my own home and for the first time, really digest the good news. The black cloud has passed.
Look who still has her hair!!
I had my 6th round of chemo last Friday (11/11) and it went just fine as usual. Dr. Londer had the week off so I saw a different Oncologist before heading over to the treatment center. I was telling her about some of the symptoms I've been having, which was also contributing to my "black cloud" - the arm soreness and finger tip tingling/numbness was coming back, I was having some shortness of breath, and a burning sensation in my throat when I'd take a deep breath. I thought maybe the cancer was coming back with a vengeance and these were symptoms letting me know that's the case. She put my worried mind to rest when she advised that the arm issues and finger numbness/tingling is neuropathy from the chemo drugs, and the shortness of breath and burning could actually be acid reflux related. I haven't experienced much acid reflux before so it never occurred to me that this could be the case, but it makes total sense. I've been advised to take a daily acid blocker and tums. It seems to be helping!
I'm finding that I'm my own worst enemy, and think I may struggle a bit when this is all said and done, wondering if every little ache and pain I have is cancer-related. From what I understand, this is pretty common after going through cancer, but in talking with others who have gone through it, I'm told that this too shall pass with time.
A couple pictures from chemo round #6
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