Bright and early this morning Josh and I went and picked up my mom from work and off we went to North Memorial Hospital in Robbinsdale. The first test of the day was a MUGA (Multiple Gated Acquisition Scan). Essentially a MUGA is a noninvasive test that gives a moving image of the heart. Unfortunately, one of the chemotherapy drugs called Adriamycin can make the heart muscle weak, so its important that they know my heart is strong to start with. Throughout treatments I will periodically have a MUGA done to monitor my cardiac function, and make sure my heart continues to stay strong throughout the process.
The second procedure of the day was to have a port put into my chest. For this procedure, I was given meds to sedate me, but I was breathing on my own the entire time. Thankfully I was able to sleep during the procedure, and woke up when they were done. This one I was nervous. The thought of having a foreign object inserted into my chest just freaks me out. I've added a picture of what the port looks like from the inside along with what you and I will see from the outside. I'm not crazy about this, but I know it's going to make my life easier the next 6 months as I go through chemo. A port is installed essentially to provide a simple and relatively painless way to administer and receive chemotherapy drugs. I will need to have it flushed each month with Heparin, which is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots in my port line.
When we got home today, I was exhausted and still quite crabby so I decided to give myself a time out. I hopped into bed, turned on my fan, and closed my eyes. It took me a good hour before I eventually fell asleep. When I woke up I felt a little better. This port is sure uncomfortable though! I'm hoping the pain and discomfort goes away soon. I feel like such a mess. It looks like I slit my throat from where the biopsy was done last Friday, I now have a protrusion in my chest, and get to look forward to my hair falling out. Am I being ridiculous for mourning my imminent hair loss? I know it will grow back, but I get emotional every time I think about it. I was told that I should consider cutting my hair short now. Maybe it won't be as traumatizing when the hair does start to fall out if it's shorter. You're probably thinking to yourself, "oh quit being so vain!" and trust me, I've been telling myself the same thing. I need to get my insecurities under control whether I'm ready for it or not, and will need to convince myself that I don't care what others think of me, even though deep down, I really do. I guess you could say I've got a couple things to work on.
